Wednesday, November 2, 2011

A Working Wife for Professor NO?

When the Professor and I evaluated our future, we recognized that when I chose to marry, I took on a new job title.

A Wife.

That was my primary, number one job. The Bible describes the role of a wife as one of a support and a help to the husband so that, in a nutshell, was my job description. Any work that I did outside the home was to be my second job. Therefore, it must work around and not detract from my first job. When looking at the reasons that wives do work outside the home, we concluded the following things:

The reasons seem to be boiled down to about five categories:

1. Financial need – The bills must be paid. Current obligations/debts may be high, or sometimes the husband is not present or cannot physically be the breadwinner.

While the Professor’s income isn’t large, the most basic of our needs are met and our debts are paid so we do not have a dire financial need for me to be working full-time.

2. Personal fulfillment – utilizing schooling/training, making a difference in the world, being helpful/useful/important.

Biblically, my personal fulfillment should come from my position as a Daughter of the King and a child of God. I am complete in Christ. Therefore whatever role or job he calls me to should be fulfilling because in that role God has seen that I have an opportunity, in some way, to work out my part of the Great Commission to go into all the world and preach the Gospel to every creature. If I have agreed to be a support and a helpmeet to my husband as my primary job, then I can be fulfilled in that role, regardless of the education I have and the skills that I have gained that are useful in the workforce. I also need to develop a few skills that are useful in my home! J
 
3. Helping others – Some people have compassionate hearts and they want to teach, heal, or help the less fortunate or the injured, and they are skilled in those particular areas.

Helping others is a wonderful thing, but the first priority I have is to help my husband. Therefore I cannot help others at the cost of neglecting my own home. At this foundational stage, my husband is still developing his career and he needs my help with some things because his free time is very limited. Later in life, when more efficient daily routines are settled and established, I may have more room to consider an option for this reason, but it would depend on what stage our family was in, whether we have children, etc. There are also many outlets for a helpful heart through church ministry and charity that don't have the weight of a full-time position.

4. Desire for personal possessions – increase the standard of living.

We’d love to raise our standard of living, but if doing so means that our marriage will be built on the foundation of two people who come home from a long day of work only to have to split the workload of keeping the home, preparing meals, and managing our affairs, then it isn’t worth it. Such things hinder our ability to find the time and energy to invest in our new marriage relationship, to talk out the disagreements that arise without major tension and short tempers, and to spend time strengthening the bond that was sealed at the marriage alter. With a huge percentage of marriages ending in divorce, we don’t take it for granted that a healthy marriage happens without intentional investment. Divorce is not a word allowed in our house, but there is still a difference between just a lasting marriage and a thriving one. God designed marriage to be a good thing, and we want to experience the full blessing of it. The price of risking that simply for nicer things, just isn’t worth it.

5. Distraction / impatience – The family members drive them crazy or there are problems at home they don’t want to think about.

The need for a distraction isn’t an issue right now, but if it ever became one, running away from problems isn’t a solution.

If you are a wife, or if you have a wife, what about you? What is your philosophy? Do you have a reason for why you work? Is it a true financial need? Or does it just provide nice material perks? If it is not a need, is it worth the price that it requires from the wife’s first job?

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